The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 685 times
Member Comments
Yikes, that ending sure took me by surprise! great job with juxtaposing the peaceful tour of the home with the revelation of that last paragraph.
Oooh, good twist at the end. I didn't see that one coming! You had such neat memories and descriptions going here, the ending was good though, it added a whole new layer to this! ^_^
Oooh, not the ending I was expecting at all!! Great twist! Good descriptions throughout; nice job overlaying the sad & decaying present with the warm & beautiful memories of past.
I could see the house as you described it. I felt the difference of the mode, but the ending was a surprise. I like those kind of endings.
Your descriptive detail made the story come alive. The twist at the end was "wow"! Great writing.
Wow I loved your descriptions and could feel your emotions. The ending was very well done and surprising.
I like how the gate opened to welcome her home!

I was confused that there would be light in an abandoned house, but you built the suspense and explained it with the angel. Good work!
Absolutely phenomenal descriptions. Wow. And then end took me by surprise. Lovely.
Sometimes the descriptions are as fun to read as the story line itself. That was true in this story. Your descriptions were colorful and detailed. Also, you did a fantastic job showing your emotions. Well done!
Very well written! I like the detailed description throughout the story, building up emotions and suspense. The angelic visit gives a perfect ending to the story with peaceful assurance that calms the soul.