The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Wowzer, what an ending! Loved this touching adventure story.
Excellent story with vivid descriptions. Great job.
Great story and what an ending.
About halfway through, I suspected what the ending would be. Great job!

Your descriptions were excellent. I would have liked more to the ending, but 750 words doesn't give you much to work with.

Very nice work. Blessings, Cheri
Good one! I was holding my breath, wondering which way the ending would go. Great job.
Great story and you completely fooled me with the ending. Awesome Girl :-)
A very well written historical piece with a cool twist at the end. I wonder what happened to the cousins? Did they live? Did they fight each other? Did they both die? You have left me with so many questions, and yet I kind of like being able to draw my own conclusion. :)

Thank you for sharing this wonderful story.
Ok, after re-reading your last paragraph, I decided that the cousins did not kill each other based on what you said about them being incapable of aggression or defense. Sorry for missing that the first time around. :)
Grandpa would have been proud.
I like the coffe scene in both camps, that they both tied to boyhood and to Grandpa.

Well done through and through.
What a story! The ending is good, I want to know what will happen to them now though, that they've met up. Great job! ^_^
Very well done. I was holding my breath, waiting for him to run into his cousin. Then I loved the ending.
Hmmm. This was very well done. The history and the picture of family were both portrayed wonderfully! Wow.
Oooh...I read the other comments and I totally agree with the "coffee connection." That was a real tie-in throughout the whole story. And all the questions one may have at the end...I have them, too!
Hi, Deborah--I'm going to feature this story on the Front Page Showcase for the week of May 11. Look for it on the FaithWriters home page, and congratulations!
I was quickly drawn into the story and was sorry to see it end. I applaud how you brought such a sense of presence on site and did so with such a light hand. Thank you for a few brief moments of pleasure.