The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
Nice story, great lesson. Good description, I really got a feeling of who Shirley was.
~Ree~
05/29/08
Your beginning had me captivated. I like a lot of your expressions like, "puttin' on a pig", "got ya work'n I bet, in and out," "Whatcha cook'n?" and "pig n' tea". I loved the interaction between Shirley and you at the picnic, especially the fiddle music. Nice work on the fun, heart-warming story. Great lessons are contained in this.
05/29/08
Hey... no using my name! LOL... Great story. So glad she came and was able to fit in comfortably!
05/30/08
Lots of potential here, dialogue was very good. Overall good job.
06/02/08
Loved the dialog, and the lesson learned was even better! How often do we make assumptions that go unchallenged? We may never know the blessings we've missed because of misplaced assumptions. Nice job!!! Blessings, Cheri
06/02/08
Love it--my favorite bit was "totally in control of the obvious", and I just may borrow that one!
Loved it, loved it, loved it. Great job with the dialogue and the descriptions. The last sentence was the finishing touch. Super job Dub.
Great job establishing the country atmosphere and establishing the character's personalities. I feel like I know Shirley and her cousin after reading this.

A very fun story.
This I like!
I can see the sparkle in Shirley's eyes-great job setting the tone and feel of your country shindig.
Great story. Love the lingo, the unexpected, and the way this story turned out.
06/04/08
I love this story. I hope it even partially describes your home in the Swamp, because this is exactly the way I imagine it! Really enjoy the word pictures and the dialogue in this one.
Just a slice of life in the swamp. I really loved this--one of my favorites of yours.
I enjoyed everything about the story. Great dialogue, wonderful message, and a fun read. The last sentence was perfect.
06/05/08
You are always so modest...
This was so much fun to read, and the last line was superb. (FYI~Eva Cassidy did an awesome version of "Wade in the Water"...)
Loved it!
06/05/08
Slice of life...one of my favorite ways of getting to know people. We didn't just get to know Shirley we got to know you as well. I liked what I saw in both instances. My cuz Gladanne, Shirley , you and I could sit down and enjoy an evening together...but you two would have to carry the musical part, there aint' no music in us. We're just good folks living different different life styles on the surface but a lot alike when it comes to the bottom line. Thanks for the story it has a ring of reality, I enjoyed it a lot.