The Official Writing Challenge
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05/22/08
A very powerfully moving account. I found the paragraph describing Kevin at the pile the most vivid part. For some reason, the ending--last line--seemed a bit too tame or too much a platitude. Not that Charlie Bear was not a hero--he certainly was--but I was hoping for more closure on delivance from Hades analogy. By the way, excellent title for the piece--also very attention-grabbing. You included several lively descriptive details like "tears left clean stripes on his cheeks."
Yea Charlie and yea Kevin.
This entry is perfect for this topic and offers hope.
Many nice touches makes this shine.

Intriguing title and right on.
I'd like to see this place.
This story is masterfully told, beginning to end.
05/25/08
Other than not being clear when the "he" in several paragraphs were not clear in referring to Charlie or Kevin, this was a good piece. I agree the ending was a little tame but okay. Good job.
We sometimes forget the noble things pets do. This story is a reminder of that. It held my attention all the way through. Very well done.
05/26/08
Very, very powerful and vivid. I was in there with that dog, and my stomach was turning with his owner. Excellent descriptions.
I don't know why you wouldn't think this was a good story. I enjoyed it very much. I was very relieved at the end when Charlie was still alive. I was afriad that you were going to throw in his death at the last minute.

Was the setting for this story the Twin Tower plane crashes on 9/11? I was just curious, because that is the impression I got while reading.

Thank you for sharing. It was a very good read. :)
A powerful and moving story.
I liked the detail of a volunteer hiding at the end of each shift, so the dog might not become discouraged.
05/27/08
The thing that touched me the most was the little pink sandal--and then in the next paragraph, you have Charlie Bear licking Justin's bare foot. Beautiful juxtaposition of images.
Whoa! This was well written and a good read from beginning to end.
05/28/08
"...he put his hand on Charlie’s golden head, stroking his thumb in the deep wrinkle between his espresso eyes..." -- love your descriptive details, such as this one.

This was an incredibly intense story, one that makes the reader feel as if he or she is on the scene.

Good writing. At times, I got lost a little as to whether or not a "he" referred to Charlie Bear or Kevin, but the confusion was quickly cleared up.

And I was relieved to see Charlie return home safe and sound. Blessings, Cheri
05/28/08
Excellent title. The detail about the personal locators--chilling to read, lump-in-the-throat. You probably could have ended it 1 sentence sooner, but this was very, very good. Good balance between your story and "the story". I felt like I was there, watching.
05/29/08
I liked this, but I really wanted them to find and save at least one person. I kept waiting for you to paraphrase Matthew 16:18, “Thou art Charlie Bear, … and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against you.”
Congratulations on taking 6th place in your level with this piece, Michele!
And you placed 25th overall. Awesome!
You are so talented. I truly enjoy reading your work my friend. Well done.