Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: In-Law(s) (05/08/08)
TITLE: Remotely Challenged
By Marita Thelander
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How’s married life treating you? Do you know how hard it is to wrap my brain around this? I am so glad I was able to make it to the event. Wow, did her parents go all out or what? You married Daddy’s Little Girl for sure, and I can totally relate.
Megan had her elbow deep into my ribs during the entire event. Maybe I snickered too much, but I think what really made her jab me good may have been when I kept whispering…”oh dude…daddy’s little girl.” At one point I caught myself dropping my head into my hands in pure empathy for your cause.
Don’t get me wrong, Steve, Aimee seems like an adorable girl. I can see why you chased her down. Her looks alone…ever consider dressing her in drab ugly clothes now that you are married? It’s just a thought, man, just a thought.
So, Mom tells me you are spending Thanksgiving weekend with Aimee’s family, your first overnight stay at the in-laws, yes sir-ee. This got my mind to spinning so fast I had to sit down and write to you. I want to share with you from the wealth of my experience and vast knowledge. You can quit laughing now. On the other hand, keep laughing; you might enjoy a chuckle at the expense of your big brother.
The very first thing I learned on my maiden overnighter at the in-laws is extremely crucial. When offered by the in-laws to have a seat, and they do that little ‘wave the arm’ across the choices of places to sit, this doesn’t really mean you can sit anywhere. I, like a typical young impulsive idiot, sat in the recliner. It was an awesome piece of furniture, but we won’t go there. I learned very quickly that the recliner is equivalent to a throne, and is no place for a scrawny young son-in-law to sit his boney bottom in.
This was immediately followed by mistake number two. If the recliner is the throne, what would be the scepter? Yep, I am sure you have figured out mistake number two. Do not touch the remote control. I quickly picked it up and after glancing at my looming father-in-law, I put it down as if it were on fire. The whole weekend there, I could not touch it. I even broke out in a cold sweat when Daddy Dear went to nap and the remote just sat there, so lonely and forlorn.
My heart tugs at the memory even now. I didn’t want to change the channel. I just wanted to hold it. Feel it in my hands. Stroke the smooth underbelly while fondling the buttons ever so gently with my thumb. The surge of power that comes from the scepter in a man’s hand is unimaginable.
The final tip I have for you is a biggie. I learned, no matter how often I flashed my wedding ring in the presence of the in-laws, I did not have the right to touch my wife in their home. As tempting as this is, and trust me… it is tempting, do not touch, pet, paw or fondle Daddy’s Little Girl in his presence. Once you produce grandchildren, this will change. Shoot, it will even be encouraged if more grandchildren will be a possible outcome.
It is hard to believe my first overnight weekend with the in-laws has been over five years ago. Things can still be a little tense, but I will assure you it does get better. I still don’t sit in the recliner, but I am allowed to touch the remote once in awhile. Megan winks at me every time it is offered to me. I am allowed to touch my wife as well…within reason. Daddy Dear winks at me a lot now too. Gotta love the gift of grandkids.
Have a great Thanksgiving, Steve. Give Aimee our love, and dear Li’l Bro, behave.
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