The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/02/08
Yes, it's never too late to ask for forgiveness, and it sounds as though your mc may need that forgiveness during her struggle. Sad story which leaves the reader with a twinge of hope for something good to come from the bad.
05/04/08
Melancholy and yet lovely. Well done.
I like the reminder to mend broken relationships. And great job of showing the MC has a soft heart.

A suggestion, next to the last paragraph, you could leave off the quotation marks and put the paragraph in italic. That way your reader instantly knows it's a thought.
This is a very touching story and thoughtfully written.



Yes, thanks for the reminder that it is never too late. Each day is new. Maybe she will find hope and a outlook on her mother.
I don't know if this was fictional or based on a true story, but I felt like it was real as I read it. I felt bad for the man, but I was happy to see that the situation was strengthening his wife's relationship with her mother.

My only complaint with this is that it left me begging for more. Sometimes the word count makes it hard to include everything, and I felt like there was more to this great story. Maybe you could expand it at a later time.

Thank you for sharing. I really enjoyed reading this.