The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
04/17/08
Very nice job. This reminds me of a few incidents with my own father. The 80's references - Bon Jovi, People's Court - put me right back there!
What a slice of life. Your details made me feel a part of the story. Perfect title especially when you tied it to the chocolate. Keep it up!
04/17/08
Oh, your last line is the exclamation point on your piece (love the way you said that in the opening paragraph). Excellent job!
04/18/08
I love coffee, therefore, I love your title. :) With a 16-year-old, we had a few driving lessons in our not to distant past. I like the way you also "slipped" chocolate into this. This definitely tugs on the heartstrings. Very nice story.
04/18/08
Awesome writing! The story here is so easy to relate to. The characters are so real. Maybe because it reminds me of that exact feeling I got in my stomach on the rare occasions when my dad swore. My opinion of him was greatly affected by those small words.

This is a powerful piece, for dads and daughters especially. If I had read it when younger, it would have helped me understand my dad. And had he read it, I think he too would have shed a tear.

Great last line!
Wonderful story. The best part is that it is a well-crafted, beautifully written piece. Great work!
04/18/08
So Mom sends him armed with chocolate--sneaky. ;) Nice writing.
04/24/08
Congrats on 5th place! SO happy for you!
Congratulations on your well deserved EC.
Yay Julie! Congrats on your EC! I'm glad I didn't miss this one, it was good! I loved the 'peace offering' of chocoates(and the coffee 'trick') cute! ^_^
04/24/08
Congratulations on your EC. I absolutely love the last line--priceless.
04/24/08
YEA!!! congratulations !!!
Do you move up yet?
I had to laugh. I've been on both sides of the driving miseries! Great writing!
This is great. I loved it from start to finish. Congrats on your EC.
04/26/08
Brilliant story and lesson, with such believable dialogue. Great conclusion, too.
04/27/08
This was priceless. I know mothers often compare themselves, but never thought men would do that also. Great story with a wonderful ending comparing chocolate to coffee. I loved this.. much deserved win! Congrats!