The Official Writing Challenge
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So very deep. I was rather lost through much of this, but the last paragraph clarified things for me. (I'm not a deep person *roll*) I loved this line: 'the command was not to survive but to believe.' So very true.
Good writing, with some deep analogies to the struggle with sin.
If you want more comments, try hinting during "hinting time" on the message boards, and then on Wednesdays we can actually link to our entries before the winners are announced on Thursdays.
I will be reading this one again, but wanted to say right of that you have a wonderful way with words. At first I was intrigued as to who or what Indigo was and then I realized you were descibing the sky. Wonderful! A different title might get more reads. Keep it up.
I read this three times - not because I couldn't understand it, but because the descriptions were so wonderful. I could picture everything. The crows sitting on the frosty lampposts, even fog rolling around. Your gift for words is superb – “My heart strained to pull back my former contentment but discovered only a shriveled carcass.” – Unbelievably good. Your last sentence capped the whole narrative wonderfully. I stand and applaud.
Some great lines in this piece. Enjoyed it. God bless.