The Official Writing Challenge
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Cardon came out of nowhere - and not having been introduced previously, caused a bit of confusion for the reader, but gave the entry its 'Target on Topic'. Nice read for fans of Sci Fi or mythical fiction.
I, for one, would love to read more of these adventures. You grabbed my attention, and nailed the topic in short order.
Carden may have become the "keeper...," but somehow I was quite fond of Rory. You have an opportunity for developing lots of stories from this. Good job.