The Official Writing Challenge
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This is an engaging story, and I am happy that Bob is exercising the silver lining of evangelism.
What confused me, though, is whether it was the thugs, employees, or one of each who were killed.
03/07/08
A gtreat reminder that no matter where we are, we can be obeying God and spreading His Word!
03/07/08
Incredibly engaging from beginning to end. I like that you chose to end it where you did, and even though it is a story of a literal situation, my deeper mind takes it to an emotional level. No matter what 'prison' we find ourselves in, God can use us for His glory. Well done!
03/11/08
Hmmm, I liked the story, I too know someone doing way too much time for the crime. The only thing I didn't like in the telling was Preacher Bob took credit for the lives HE touched, the people HE led to Christ. As Paul said, it's not me but the Christ who lives in me. Just maybe when the "I" gets removed the time will too. Keep writing.
03/12/08
Great story...great message...well told;)
03/12/08
Contrary to one of the comments, I think God shows up, loud and clear, in this piece. He does, indeed, use His kids to accomplish His purpose, just as He's using Bob. I was left wondering, however, why Bob claims to have made poor choices that led him to jail, when it was clearly self-defense. It's heartbreaking that he is sitting in prison while other (real) criminals are freed every day.
Nicely written piece - unique take on topic. :-)
03/12/08
I'm so glad you put the author's note in there--knowing this is based on a true story made a difference. Amazing how God works in all circumstances.
A very inspiring story. Paul is one of my favorite men in The Bible, and I definitely can relate to the whole idea of being "imprisoned", whether it be literally or in a figurative sense.

I had no problem seeing where the preacher gave credit to God. Sure, the letter "I" was there a lot, but isn't it through us that God works? I mean it is a team effort, even if God is doing most of the work.

Praise God that he took this man's situation and used it to bring souls into the Kingdom.

Thank you for writing and sharing this story Sherry!
03/12/08
Good story. I liked how the MC found purpose in his incarceration. Keep writing.
Hmmm, quite a different twist here and I can see the silver lining here! It's encouraging. I liked the character of Preacher Bob and especially your openining, it was really good. ^_^
03/12/08
A perfect story to illustrate the topic. Really great job!
03/12/08
Fascinating! I was delighted to find that it was a true story.

My red ink: the "Clangs" at the beginning. It's more appropriate for writing for adults to write something like "I heard the distant clang of the ward doors that signaled a visitor from Outside." Sound effects rarely sound like the actual sound, and just don't work for me. Totally just my opinion, though.
Very interesting, educational and entertaining. It is a shame about Bob, but great that he is making the best out of it. Nice job.
Great story for the topic, and your writing is seamless. Very nice!
You did a great job of showing how a changed life with Christ's power influences other lives to change.
A great true story, Sherry. Wouldn't this be a great Christian movie? Sharpen up your screen-writing pencil , my friend. A contract may be on the way! Very nice job with a great subject!