The Official Writing Challenge
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Oh dear, that's the kind of phone call we all dread. You really captured the strong emotion of that day.

I'd suggest that you cut down on your use of exclamation points and all-caps. They can be used to show emotion, but your words themselves are far stronger tools. Use strong and interesting words, and you won't need the distraction of exclamation points and capital letters.

Thank you for the hope expressed in this piece.
I felt like I was right there with you through this. Your emotion was very clear.

Watch the caps and exclamation points.

You moved me and encouraged me.
Amazing how turned this into a story of inspiration and encouragement.