The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
12/13/07
Heart felt, dramatic, realistic, touching and generally well written. The POV shift in the bottom paragraphs was a bit disconcerting, but otherwise well done.
I was there with Amber and that means you did your job well.
12/14/07
Very believable story...and written well. Like another commenter said, I felt I was there with her.
12/15/07
I also found the POV shift at the bottom distracting, but this story definitely kept my interest. Great descriptions.
12/15/07
Full of suspense and action. And I love a happy ending. :) Well done.
12/16/07
Very good story. The church should be a place of refuge. Like your message here!
Laury
12/19/07
God knows...and cares. Excellently written piece.
Your writing well showed the anxiety and emotional turmoil Amber was experiencing. And I really liked the way you wove supposed happenstance into the story line to show that God never abandones us, but sometimes nudges us to "open the door" to escape and find a better life. I also liked (I think I'm right on this) that Amber did not give up on her husband and they (through the church) were going to try and work things out. Nice slant to an all to common problem in today's environment.
Great take on the subject and meaning behind this piece.
What happened next? Was she able to stay away from her abusive situation? I wanna know.
Besides the POV issues that have already been addressed, this was very well done. Kudos.
12/20/07
Wow! Great descriptions!
I can see this being part of a longer story...novel, maybe?
I could feel the desperation and final relief.
Good writing.