Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Sunday School (10/25/07)
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TITLE: Van Service | Previous Challenge Entry
By Joanney Uthe
11/01/07 -
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“Where do you go on that van? Are there other girls our age? Do you have to stay with your sister the entire time?” Brenda no sooner got off the van when Laurie assaulted her with questions.
“Oh, Laurie, it’s the most wonderful place. Ya can’t see out the colored windows, ‘cuz of the beautiful pictures on ‘em. They tell the story we learnt in Sunday School. That’s where I go, to Sunday School.”
“Sunday School? Ya go ta school on Sunday?” Laurie wasn’t all that fond of school, but she knew Brenda liked it even less. “What kinda school’s on Sunday?”
“Not like regular school. That’s just what they call it. We sing and learn ‘bout Jesus.”
“Ya learn ‘bout cussin’?”
“No, Silly. We learn ‘bout God’s son Jesus. Maybe ya should ask your ma if ya can come next week.” Brenda’s family had always been more religious than Laurie’s. They at least prayed and talked about God. Laurie wasn’t sure she understood what Brenda meant. Maybe she should see if she could go.
Laurie’s mom looked up from the stove when the girls entered the apartment kitchen. “Hello, Brenda. Laurie’s been a’frettin’ all morning wondering where ya were. Did ya have a good time at church?”
“Yes, Mrs. Nelson. I enjoy it. Can Laurie come next week?”
“I was talk’n ta your ma earlier. If’n she can take the young’uns, it might give me some quiet. Least for a couple hours. We’ll find out this week and see what ages they can start. But ya have ta watch your sisters.”
Laurie didn’t mind Lorna and Lucy’s company; she just didn’t like the responsibility of always having to watch them when they went somewhere. Especially somewhere fun. But if she was to go, they’d have to come also.
The week that followed drug on like a snowstorm that blocked all outdoor escape. Laurie could think of nothing else and Brenda gladly filled her in on all she had learned the last two weeks. God had made her and loved her. He even sent his Son, Jesus because of his love for her. Jesus died but came back to life. Brenda even said that Laurie could meet him. She wasn’t sure how that worked, but she was anxious to find out.
Sunday morning finally arrived. “Ya sure we didn’t miss it, Laurie? Ya made us hurry, now no one’s here.”
“Isn’t Brenda coming? And Alice? Can’t we wait inside. I’m cold.”
“Hi Laurie, Lorna, Lucy. Ya sure got here early. The van don’t come for ‘nother five minutes and ya been here that long already.” Brenda smiled at her friends. “Your gonna like Sunday School.”
“Cathy,” Laurie asked Brenda’s sister, “do we have ta stay with our younger sisters?”
“No, they go to their class. Ya’ll be in the class with Brenda and I go to my class. Ya only have ta take care of ‘um on the van and getting’ ‘um from their class to the van.”
When they got to the church, Cathy showed Laurie where to drop off the younger girls and they went to their class. Laurie and her sisters rode the van to Sunday School for several years, giving her heart to Jesus only months after her first class. As a teenager, Laurie fell in love with a guy from the youth group and followed him to a Christian college, marrying him right before he entered seminary.
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I'd have liked more of a sense of their circumstances--I get the feeling they're impoverished, correct? Leave off the last paragraph altogether, and then use those words for more development in the early part of the story, to help your readers sympathize for the children.
Very touching!
So many questions. This is a strong start to a much longer story. Nice job with the topic.
I enjoyed reading this.