The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
You've created realistic characters that even modern-day people could relate to. I think teen girls would especially like this.

It'll be easier on your readers if you hit "enter" between all your paragraphs, not just between blocks of dialogue.

Thanks for giving us a little glimpse at a familiar scene through new eyes.
You created a memorable picture of a familiar story. I liked that the story was told from the young girl's point of view.
You made a familiar Bible passage very personal, beatifully done.
This is amazing. I loved it, everything is incredibly realistic, the surroundings, the names especially! I liked the format and the dialouge, very good! ^_^
Interesting, good job.