The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 879 times
Member Comments
This sounds like something I would have done when I was a kid. At the same time, it captures a universal concern for those who love the Lord - should I have done it that way?
I really love the narrator's voice in this thought-provoking story. Excellent.

My only quibble--and it's a tiny one--is that the title doesn't do justice to this first-rate story.
Very well written. Engaging, charming, humorous and sobering all at the same time. Well done.
This was really good. I especially like "slipping and entering." Hehehe

My only suggestion is to add some dialog. Instead of just telling us what they said, make it into a conversation.

Overall, this was great. I enjoyed it.
Your story reminded me of a friend of mine who wanted to be baptized at the same time I was. Her request was turned down because she had never made a profession of faith. She left our church never to return to any church. Many people wondered if the decision made had been the right one. On the other hand, giving her a false sense of her eternal security would have been wrong as well. Tough choice. Great story, well told.
Good telling, sad story, most Christians are ill-equipped to do the one thing that Jesus commissioned us to do. The narrator didn't sound anymore informed by the end of the story. Keep writing.