The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
I really enjoyed this story! Wonderfully vivid descriptions of both the church settings and the people present--I could see each one as though I were there and felt as though right there in that church--even the initial awkward feeling of being a stranger to the church.

The narrative slips from present to past tense, which jarred me a little. It would be good to keep it all in either one tense or the other.

The unusual title really sparked my curiosity!

Great job!
Loved how you you built the story to a climactic, worshipful ending. Nice job! :) Cat
The title drew me in and you kept me reading to see what happened. I could relate to the people watching in church. We're all so different - yet we come together to praise God.
Your message rang clear and distinct - we are all One in the most important of ways. Great job!
Very descriptive writing. You put the reader there in the pew. Good job.
Love the voice - and I have to admit the end took me by surprise. Super writing.