The Official Writing Challenge
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Oh, oh, oh, I want Vex on my team!!! Okay, the other two can come too! Very exciting stuff here and so well written!
A lot of action and suspense, along with the surprise at the end.
Loved the way the suspense built. Good job all around. Welcome to the puppy pen.
Oooh, I recognize your writing style, so distinctive and utterly unique!

I envy people who can conceptualize whole alternate realities and convey them in so few words, as you have done here.

If pressed to give a critique, I'd mention the same hyphenation issue as I did last week, but I fully recognize now that they are part of what makes you stand out and above the crowd.

Nice job!
Hmmm, very interesting! I'm not real sure how I feel about the ending, but I enjoyed the rest of it. Good job. As for the hyphen issue, I see why you used some of them, but I couldn't see a reason for some. Anyway, like I said, it was a good story! :-)
Wow. I love the action and the characters. I couldn't stop reading. As for the hyphens, I have a tendency toward their use, too. I try to curb it, but I still want to use them! It seems natural in dialog to use hyphens sometimes.
Oh! Chills! I usually don't like anything even close to sci-fi or even high tech, but there was NO way I could stop reading!! Great job! I loved it. :-)
Amazing atmosphere. I was absolutely engaged.
Well done action packed story! Great writing, you sure poured your heart into this one! Great job!
Science fiction is not my genre, but this is very well written and easy to understand what is going on.
Hey Frank. When you said "I just MAY have crossed the zero-violence threshold" in the anit-mustard cutting excuse thread I couldn't resist reading your entry. You know, the whole can't look away from a car wreck syndrome.

I knew your writing was top notch (I can see why you've had success) but I have to admit I had to read it twice to "get it". This is nothing you did. I have four kids and they are slowly sucking my brain cells away. And I didn't have that many to spare.

On the second careful reading I not only "got it", I really enjoyed it. One reason I liked it is because this is the type of thing my son would love.

Thanks for writing this. We need all types of Christian writing. It's a blessing.