The Official Writing Challenge
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A good example of how insensitive people can be! I like the way that the mum dealt with her anger in a Christian response.
oooo, that lady made ME so mad! I wanted to shake her and tell her a few things of my own! You did a good job with keeping the reader engaged in a present tense setting. I like the realistic touches like wanting a second "Go-Gurt" and being protective of her sister. Excellent job! I really enjoyed this.
I loved the story told from the viewpoint of the teen-ager. One could not help but be angry by the actions of the busybody nurse. Excellent story telling.
Excellent job! I could feel my own anger rising as I read your account of the attack in aisle eight. I love your title, and you did a good job with point of view. Nice work. Blessings, Cheri
08/14/07
Boy, bullies of any age or gender make me so ANGRY! Good story-telling. I wanted to hunt that mean lady down and tell her a thing or two myself. But your Mom character has a better idea in letting her know the LORD is in control.
08/14/07
I love that you chose the teen's voice, but that the mother was the vehicle of grace. Wonderfully structured, and four very strong characterizations.
08/14/07
Excellent characterization and storytelling. This is probably the best of yours I've read. Very intense.
This was a real life glimpse of an all too often occurance of ill-placed judgement. Your writing showed the strength and grace of the mother beautifuly as well as love of her daughter.
08/14/07
Your POV was great!! I really wanted to take that lady's finger and... sigh. The mom handled it much better than I would've--obviously! Excellent job. You didn't get bogged down as you gave clips of each character and you wrapped it up quite nicely there at mom's door. Very well done!! Hugs!!
This is excellent storytelling. Your characters are strong and you make your point, MYOB.
Excellant characters ... very real and visable. I'm glad the story wasn't all wrapped up nicely with a bow at the end. It leaves us with something to poner over. Great job, as usual.
I have a friend with this very problem. THe lady made me very angry. Your writing is GREAT. I enjoyed this.
I'm am angered now! GREAT writing here! I really liked this line: Moms thanksgiving was meant as a dismissal but this bat wasnt giving up.


Keep writing such great works!