The Official Writing Challenge
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LOL! Oh I should have seen this end coming! How funny! This is truly hilarious! I like the character of Heidi and especially little Chelsea's innocent question. This must have been tricky switching from story to memory here, but you pulled it off real nice. Good job! (I'm still laughing!) ^_^
07/27/07
Oh my goodness, so funny! I'll have to have my husband read this one...thanks for the laugh!
Okay, I will admit that this made me chuckle. It is well written and funny. I enjoyed it. You did a good job swtiching from present to memory. I was not confused (which is easy to do).

I have one other suggestion I'll share if you PM me.

Good job!
08/01/07
Oh, very funny! I enjoyed reading this one, very much.
08/01/07
Too funny!! loved it! :-)
08/01/07
Cute and clever - and I definitely didn't see it coming!
08/01/07
I loved the bathroom scene with Chelsea asking questions and using a hairbrush as a microphone! The last line was a perfect way to end the story! Great humor and good writing! :)
I enjoyed this delightful story. The descriptions are excellent.
I LOVE the last line!

You might want to check on the placement of commas. There were a few that were missing that threw me off for just a minute in my reading.

Your descriptions, especially of the "meaty belch that sounded like a bullhorn" were priceless!

Nice work and mega blessings,
Cheri