The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
07/21/07
This is a very sweet story about a loving family. I love the characters; the writing let me feel their happiness and contentment.
I love the idea of this story, and the writing is excellent. Wonderful job on that! My only suggestion for improvement isn't about your writing but about the scenario you've presented, here. While the young horse/young rider combination is a romantic one, in reality, young horses and young children are a recipe for disaster. I've seen far too many children seriously hurt by someone doing exactly what the father in this story did: putting them on the backs of an "unbroke" young horse. My own next-door neighbor's young son had to be flown to a trauma hospital for a broken neck after the young gelding he was put on became frightened.

Just in the sake of public awareness, I would love to see the parents here giving the child an older (15+ years), gentle mount.

Please don't be offended, :). It's just that this "they can grow up together" myth is one that truly frightens me, particular as society in general becomes further removed from daily interaction with large animals...they don't seem to realize the dangers involved.