The Official Writing Challenge
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Good story with nicely paced dialogue. The description was good, too--just enough to let me see the scene without going overboard.
Well I certainly liked the title. And I appreciate that you are trying to be quite ambitious in reversing the Harry Potter style. But I’m not sure that you have got Harriet’s character quite right. The two boys come across as typical teenagers and talk and act as such. But it seems to be that Harriet’s dialogue is typical of a much older adult and not a fourteen year old. I guess that’s why it’s a challenge for us as adults to put suitable words into the mouths of our child characters.
I love Harriet...fourteen going on thirty! Well written!
Very well written. This is a good story for a mature pre-teen or teenager. I liked it.
Nice job--the characters all have distinct personalities--not easy to do in 750 words.
Great description and detail here. It feels a bit old for children, but that could just be me. Very deep.
A good take-off on "Harry," I like your ending which appears as an omen for the prince of lies.
I found this very interesting. Was that a reference to C.S. Lewis and his time? Putting in real historical characters fascinated me as a kid, and still does. Though they had pens not quills in his time didn't they? I also liked the dramatic allusion at the end with the clouds gathering over the metropolis.
This would work good for teen week, I can see it turning into a YA novel. The title is catchy...and somwhat familiar. ^_^ But the story and message are true. great job.
I couldn't help but smile at your title... :)
I liked how you showed the importance of remembering that we DO have an enemy who wants to trip us up. Good job, I enjoyed this.