The Official Writing Challenge
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05/02/05
Clever. Definitely clever. Nice work!
05/02/05
Great entry - unique and well written. The only suggestion I would have is to put little breaks(like **) in between each perspective. It confused me for a second before I realized the switch. But that's probably just me. LOL. Otherwise, it was a wonderfully clever piece that tugged the heart a bit.
Blessings, Lynda
05/02/05
What a great story! Good syntax, excellent sentence structure. I especially like the way you handled descriptions. Bert's nose turning an interesting shade of red. You showed and did not tell. Yah for you! (Obviously, that's my downfall!)
Overall, a great story. The spy cam was great. I didn't see it coming.
05/03/05
Interesting little peice.
Loved the last line. Wow.... you've got to have quite a creative mind to write something like this. Well done!
05/04/05
Very interesting! Clever writing! Nice work!
05/05/05
Loved the little details that we can all relate to like the tape sticking to our fingers. A well constructed story wth a neat twist in it for ryan.
Fun story with a couple of great twists. Loved the ending!
This is a wonderful story. I'll have to read up on Troy to understand its significance, but the story is still great.
05/06/05
Very very good!