The Official Writing Challenge
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Excellent, excellent description. BUT, you can't
leave me hanging! You have to expand this. Well done.
Wow -great intensity and descriptions... but I want to see him get what's coming to him!
Very intense. Great job!
Amazingly visual and descriptive - I was on the edge of my seat from beginning to end! Excellent.
Very visual.
Intense, the dialect highlighted the story and added a realistic tone. Well done.
Awesome suspense! Excellent story.
Wow! Intense - definitely. Frightening. Excellent description. And as noted above - a cliffhanger. Great job!
Gripping! I could see, hear, feel, smell everything. The ending was like a punch in the stomach, and really brought truth to your title.
Wow - Vivid - rivoting - intense - just a few adjectives I would use to describe this story. I liked the line "fallen branches matched the snap of each nerve" and the "cold melevolence" Excellent descriptions with a great ending!You did well with putting us in the action and in her emotions:)
I love the line - "Dying would have to wait" - it screams defiance to all the forces that would drag us down.

Thanks, and God bless,

Wow, intense but gripping story. Another great story for the challenge!
I wanted more! I hated that it had to end. I really enjoyed it.
Whoa! This is some adventure. It sort of slows, the little bit with Coot, but then it picks up right away and leaves us hanging. Good job. Not too dark. I like the stammering edge and the last thought of "Dying would have to wait." Excellent descriptions, very powerful. ^_^
Very well done. Just a little too short. Needed to know more........word count blues.
Wow! What a suspenseful, tragic story! Your descriptions were excellent, and I liked the courage the MC showed. Great last line! :)
I liked the bravado of the MC - you could not help but root for her. I'm not sure if I would have thought of this as an adventure as much as an example of courage and zest for life no matter the tragedies we encounter.
Oh, my goodness, Pat! I'm so glad you decided to throw a brick! I wouldn't have wanted to miss this one. I absolutely loved it. It was certainly and adventure in my book! The writing was flawless.
This is my kind of adventure! Great writing!
Gee Pat - bravo for you! You sure know how to keep us all biting our nails! This was very well done, and I liked the way you didn't have any long paragraphs. The short clips (one or two sentences) were very effective in producing drama as I read this.

Woo hoo to you!
It's great the way you jump straight into the story and into the psyche of your MC. Appeals to all the sences. Fast paced and rivetting. I do think, though, that 'companionable silence' has become a cliche. yeggy