The Official Writing Challenge
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Oh, a mystery all right. I wish there had been a few more clues so the reader could attempt to guess what the soldiers wanted and what happened to Elanor. As it is, it's a toss up. I would have included a few more details and brought this to more of a conclusion, personally. But a great story over all. I'd like to see it expanded.
Great dialogue and description in this! I felt as though I were there and could feel the main character's anxiety. I like the way her prayer was extended intermittently throughout the dialogue of her criminal pursuers. Great contrast between her grasping at faith and the corruption of the other characters. Great mood created of suspense as well!

I also wonder what will happen and would like to see this made into a complete story with a resolution.

Intriguing, unusual title--it grabbed me!
I loved too how you wove the prayer throughout the story. This was suspenseful all right, down to the lump in my throat!
Oh my. What a story. It ended a little mysterious. I can only guess what happened to the closet dweller. I would hope I'm wrong.
Your story was well written and had me on the edge of my seat. I only wish you hadn't had them find her. If she had miraculously been invisible to them, it would have made a great ending.
Were they searching for the necklace? What a sad ending, but a powerful prayer on Eleanor's part. A bit more of explanation would have helped in making this a little easier to read, I felt as if I watched a scene in the movie but needed to see the whole thing in order to 'get it'. But good idea and good writing!
I too wanted to know why she was hiding, and what they were after (my first thought was something holocaust related, but that was just conjecture!) - but you definitely kept me intrigued from beginning to end!
Oh, you left me hanging! That's ok, I can make up my own happy ending, where God saves her. :) I'm guessing they were looking for her heirloom necklace? Great job with the suspense, I was hanging on every word.