The Official Writing Challenge
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The 'mystery' is pretty good, the ending a little confusing with how Rachel was suddenly able to get up from the floor where a gun was being pointed at her head and then managing to handcuff the culprit. The twist is good of having her as a special agent, that was unexpected and very well done to give no hint away before hand. Just needs some work on the end where the 'scuffle' is. ^_^
Nice twist of an ending! You captured the menacing feel of Chad quite well!
These mysteries are so hard to do in such short spaces. About the time I get into them, they're gone. But this is a good job being fit into a small space. I was under the canopy with you. And scared silly.
Not bad at all - especially getting it all in within the 750 limit. Good plot, nice surprises and scary atmospheric background. Very well done.
Great! I definitely didn't see the twist coming.
Definitely kept me spellbound; good atmosphere and believable characters. Nicely done. Blessings~
Scary! I was holding my breath for Rachel. Excellent mystery story!
Fantastic mystery and the ending delivered!! Great writing!
This could have gone in so many directions and that's one reason I kept reading - wasn't disappointed by the outcome and feel the story could be expanded further.
Great job of building the suspense and keeping me guessing. Love the twist.
To me this played out like a tv show! Perhaps it's because I could visualize it from your good descriptions. Maybe you should expand this and make it into a script?? Good job!
Strong sense of place. Good characterisation. Nicley paced and suspenceful. I am mystified though as to why it was Rachel who knew where the box was and had the key. Did I miss something? yeggy