The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1373 times
Member Comments
I really like the music of this piece, the way the words flowed. It was very descriptive. It was also easy to feel Peter's escape into his music.
I loved this! Your way with words is spectacular--a real gift! The story itself is at once horrible and beautiful, and you have done a masterful job of telling it! Thank you! :)
This was so good. It almost read like a sceenplay, something they would play to promote a Billy Graham crusade. Moving, touching, and well done!
I especially liked the ending.
What a wonderful story and so eloquently told. I especially liked how your beginning and end enclosed it all. Good job.
This is gorgeous, and reads like a narration, meant to be accompanied by beautiful piano music in the background.
This is beautifully written. I especially like this phrase, "each a broken vessel, each to become a lantern holding light for the other." Your words are lyrical!
Enjoyed your descriptions. And this story had such a nice flow to it. Great job.
I love your lyrical description of Birdie's voice. You present clearly God's healing. This is a story to remember.
Very nice. I wondered how the two stories would tie together. Very moving, especially Birdie's story. I liked the line with King Arthur pulling Excalibur and the description of "heartless human betrayal" something very moving about that line. Great writing! ^_^
Your description is absolutely amazing and vivid. I just LOVED this piece.
Chills. Chills! This was great. The part about the lantern definitely induced tears, but I love those little anecdotes; I store them away, because they speak so simply and powerfully of God's ultimate plan.

There was one thing that was a bit confusing--when Peter's relative was kicking at "the family dog" I thought it was literal. If you rewrite this, you might introduce us to his uncle's (?) inclinations first, and then the reader will understand later.

Anyway, just a tiny concern. Overall, a very lovely piece. Great job and good luck!
Very touching story. The ending left me hopeful. Good job.
Wow! What amazing writing - exquisite! This touched all the senses of the reader. Awesome work!
I love the way you surround this story with God's love. You, definitely, have a writer's heart. May His blessings be with as you continue to write for Him.