The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Beautiful job of showing the difference between the "letter" of the Law and the "SPIRIT" of the Law. Wonderful job!
I agree with Dixie - this is VERY good!

Mary N
An interesting take on the topic. The narrator's voice didn't quite feel like that of a fifteen-year-old (I would know; I'm 16 myself), but the story held my attention. Good job!
Good lead in to the primary story.
Interesting shift/contrast in the impact of discipline verses love.
I particularly like the way you finished off. You could have thumped me over the head wth the gospel but you didn't. Your restraint in asking the questions you do would be more likely to encourage the seeker than wrapping it up by telling the reader what conclusions they should make.
Kept my attention... good reading!