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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Music (03/08/07)
“Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so; Little ones to Him belong; They are weak, but He is strong. Yes, Jesus loves me! Yes, Jesus loves me! Yes, Jesus loves me! The Bible tells me so.”

Sissy went to the place deep within herself and sang.


Daddy hit Sissy last night and momma cried. Josh’y jumped on daddy’s back and daddy hit him too. I think Josh’y was very brave. I wish I was brave too, but I was only scair’t and I wet my pants.

It was our family secret. Momma always said so when she hugged us close after daddy would go. You couldn’t tell secrets. Momma said it was bad to tell and you’d burn in hell if you did. We never told.

Sissy was almost ten when the secret did get told. Daddy hit her hard and she fell. Momma, she was cryin’. Sissy didn’t get up and daddy started prayin’. He told God that he was so sorry and to not let Sissy be dead. I don’t think that God heard him, cause Sissy, she was dead.

The police came and took us all away. Momma kept cryin’, “He said he’d kill us all if’n ever we told.”

Josh’y and me, we went to foster homes. We didn’t get to stay together, no one had room for two “deeply disturbed” boys. We “was ruin’t” I heard somebody say.

Daddy went to prison and got churched. Momma said that somehow God would make it all okay. That was twenty years ago and I’m still waitin’ for it to somehow be okay.

Josh, he took to drink and he’s been in and out of jail for battery. He’s been divorced twice and has two girls that he never sees.

Daddy, he’s out and deeply religious. Momma stuck by him through all those years. I guess God somehow made it all okay for her.

I’m still afraid. Not of daddy anymore. I don’t see him much. I don’t want to be like Josh. I remember he was brave and I was only scair’t. I think I’m afraid that I may end up like momma. I don’t ever wanna tell Sissy that somehow it was all okay.

I tried to go to church but it weren’t for folks like me. I guess I really was ruin’t. I guess I really am.

“He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.” Rev 2:29 (NASB)
“And in His name the Gentiles will hope.” Mt. 12:21 (NASB)

“Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so; Little ones to Him belong; They are weak, but He is strong. Yes, Jesus loves me! Yes, Jesus loves me! Yes, Jesus loves me! The Bible tells me so.”

*******“Jesus Loves Me” Anna B. Warner, William B. Bradbury
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Sharlyn Guthrie
03/16/07
Such a heart-breaking tale! You did an excellent job with the voice, and dealt with several key issues here. Your writing is strong. Personally, I think the scripture inserted near the end is a bit distracting. The repitition of Jesus Loves Me is a great ending.
Julie Arduini
03/17/07
Wonderful narration, heartbreaking story! Very nicely done.
Jacquelyn Horne
03/18/07
"Oh, what tangled webs we weave". Such a bittersweet story. In spite of the fact that God is forgiving, results of our actions still exist. This is a good portrayal of a troubled family.
Leigh MacKelvey
03/18/07
This was a story we all know, but forget quickly. Thanks for bringing it front and center again. As a teacher in an inner city where poverty and crime abound, I always try to keep in mind that I don't always know what's going on in my student's homes. The writing was great, but I agree the scripture seemd out of place and the ending with the song lyrics is enough. I know the point you were making with the scripture, bur perhaps your point can be made within the story instead. I loved the story, though!
Mona Lisa
03/24/07
Great job with the character's dialect. You captured the realism of the subject. I was left heart-broken but hopeful of God's tender mercy to the tragedies that dwell in our hearts. A well written monologue.