The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1114 times
Member Comments
Your descriptive language brought back feelings from my own high school days. I was sure no one understood how physical band could be. My hope is that the story finally ended on a happier note (no pun intended). I still play, 43 years later. Few "jocks" can say that! Thanks for your story.
This was good. I remember my youth leader didn't like me being in band either. I wonder if it's written into the job description somewhere? "Must dislike marching band." Hehe Only kidding. I too, hope this had a better ending than beginning. Keep up the good work!
Ok, one more quick comment.... I still cringe when I heard "Dr. Beat." But we called him "The Mouth" in my band.
Definitely something to relate to. I liked the emotions and the reaction of the teen, thinking about band and then turning to the bible for comfort. Great work. ^_^
Neat job on a difficult topic.
There were parts of this I didn't quite get, but it sounds like that's just me. ;-) Overall this was written well. good job and good message.
I didn't quite understand either. If the first teen was a girl as stated, wrestling would not be a thinkable option (though not impossible). What was the pastor's purpose in no band?

The writing, however, was very well done.
It's so true that words can be harmful. I like the message in this piece. It's well written, too.
Excellent message so wonderfully portrayed through this teen.
How painful to have a pastor, of all people, judge one activity over another. Thanks for reminding us to be encouragers and not to cripple other believers.
I didn't understand the beginning, either. It sounded like the pastor wanted one to quit band and the other to join wrestling. I couldn't see how they were related. That having been said, I could still feel the pain the words inflicted and got the idea. I have heard people say things like this before...but it hurts, particularly, for it to come from a pastor...who SHOULD know better. Don't you wish you were able to go back to him now with your quote? People disappoint. God doesn't. At 55, I still have to remind myself of that when people let me down...even those who are closest to me. That pastor....was just a man. Sometimes we..and he...need reminding. Thanks for this poignant reminder.
It is so nice to read someone's heart and see the goodness God wants all of us to hear. You've written an important article!
Amazing! The last paragraph really got to me!! Teriffic Job!
A wonderful way to use a real-life story to share an important message. There are also some very good descriptions: marinate in sweat. Trembling fingers fumble through onionskin pages of your Bible. One suggestion would be to write this in first person throughout. The beginning paragraph was very good, but I think it would be even more powerful in first person. Angry tears threaten to fall as I sink into a plush, velvety chair Or if you wanted to distance yourself from the piece, write it in third person but give her a name: Angry tears threaten to fall as Katie sinks into a plush, velvety chair." I also loved the message in the last line. I think your story is wonderful, and I hope you will continue to work on it and find a place to share this message.