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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Reading (01/25/07)
"So what happened to you?" Sammy asked the patient waiting with him in the emergency room.

"Fishing accident. What about you?" Harvey replied.

"Shark attack."

"No way! How did you get away?"

"It was close, let me tell you. But just as he was about to clamp down, I switched directions. He only nipped my fin. See?"

"Wow. Do you think you'll swim again?"

"Oh, sure. I've seen fish with worse injuries than mine swimming around just fine. So you said your injury is from a fishing accident? I've heard of those, but I've never believed it. Sharks are what you have to worry about. But something as innocent as a worm can't hurt you."

"It can when it's attached to a hook. Look I've got a hole in my mouth! How else can you explain that?"

"Worms attached to a hook? That's stupid. You probably just bit your lip," Sammy wisely explained.

"Look... Sorry. I didn't catch your name. I'm Harvey."

"Sammy. Nice to meet you. Now what were you saying?"

"I was going to ask you why I would make up a story about a fishing accident if I just bit my lip."

"Because you're too embarrassed to admit the truth."

"Suit yourself, but I'm telling you, this was the worst experience of my life. I thought I'd catch a nice juicy worm for lunch. Next thing I know, I’m being pull up out of the water. I couldn't breath! This monster grabbed me, looked me over, took the worm and hook out of my mouth, and tossed me back in the ocean. I could have died, Sammy. I'm lucky I only have this hole in my mouth."

Sammy chuckled. "Now, see, that's where these 'fishing' stories get preposterous. If you had just told me you ate a worm and something sharp poked you in the mouth, I'd probably believe you. But no. All of these 'fishing' stories involve the fish getting pulled up out of the water. And they either disappear, or they claim they came out of the water and saw this monster who threw them back in. Well, I don't believe it. There is nothing beyond this ocean. Nothing."

"Hey," Harvey retorted, "I know what I saw and experienced. You don't have to believe me, but if I were you, I wouldn't eat anything I didn't see swimming in the water and catch myself. And if you ever feel yourself being pulled along, fight. Fight with all you have in you, because it's not just a fun ride. I was one of the lucky ones. I survived."

"I'll do whatever I want."

"Ok, but don't say I didn't warn you."

*******

"Hey, Goldie, watch this. I'm going to bite that worm so hard, he won't know what hit him."

"Sammy, I wouldn't do that if I were you. What about that guy you met in the emergency room? Didn't he tell you not to eat anything you didn't see swimming around first?"

"Oh, come on. He was making up that story. Here I go."

"Sammy, don't!"

"Boy. That kind of hurt. But this worm sure tastes good. Wheee!! Look at me! I'm going up, up, up!"

"Fight, Sammy, fight!"

"This is fun, Goldie. You should try…"

Sammy broke through the surface of the water.

"Can't breath," Sammy, gasped. "Must get into water."

The monster looked at him, and tossed him in with the other victims.

"Harvey was right," Sammy gasped. "I should have...."

*****

"Boy, Derek. That sure was some good fish, wasn't it?"

"Yep. Do you think any of them knew what was coming? Had any warning what would happen to them?"

"Nah, of course not. It's not like fish go around telling others about their fishing accidents."
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This article has been read 2181 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Betty Castleberry
02/09/07
I really like the analogy in this piece. I'm not sure the last sentences with the humans talking really add a whole lot. You've already made your point, and quite well, I might add. It would have been fun to end it with the fish's thoughts, and let the reader draw their own conclusions.
This was a fun read, and well written, too. Kudos!
Marilyn Schnepp 
02/10/07
Super read! Loved it! Very creative and a fun story!
Virginia Gorg
02/10/07
Good laughs here! Nicely done. I like the fish telling "fish tales."
Joanney Uthe 
02/10/07
Cute and unique perspecitve on the topic. I like how human your fish are, especially with Sammy not believing the warning. Great job.
Jan Ackerson
02/10/07
Really clever, and the lesson is not lost. A very cute cautionary tale, would be cute for a Sunday School lesson.

Be careful of breath/breathe.

Personally, I always felt sorry for the poor fish. My husband tells me they don't feel it when they're hooked--but how would he know? I'll bet they're plenty embarrassed, too.
william price
02/11/07
Cool perspective, very creative. Took me a few lines to figure you were talking about fish. Nice job and lesson. God bless.
Gregory Kane
02/11/07
Great fun. Lovely take on the theme. I agreed with the earlier commentator that the human’s contribution spoiled the ending a little. I think it would have ended better if we had been left with the image in our mind’s eye of the slowly dying fish regretting his folly. Maybe then a Bible verse to draw out the application? But nevertheless original and witty.
Mariane Holbrook
02/11/07
Very cute story! I loved it!
Sharlyn Guthrie
02/12/07
Very creative, and nice analogy. I got your point. (GROAN!)
Sheri Gordon
02/12/07
Really cute. We're a big fishing family, and we usually throw the fish back. My dad always told me they didn't feel anything, but he was always careful to remove the hook gently. I enjoyed "experiencing" the event from the fish's perspective.
Eleanor Joyce
02/12/07
I thought this was an excellent analogy. As others have suggested I would consider leaving off the ending where the humans talk. I know my teens would find that "preachy", but they would enjoy the rest of the story and get the message loud and clear. Great job!
Jacquelyn Horne
02/14/07
Loved the moral of this story. My thoughts? Get rid of the humans. I know you've heard it several times, but I honestly was thinking this before I read the comments.
Shari Armstrong 
02/15/07
He hehe - so cute!!!! (I wrote one awhile back from the fish's POV view, too). Congrats!!!!!
Ruth Neilson
02/15/07
Congrates girl! I told you that I thought that this one was great and see, even the judges thought so too. You are such a blessing...and now you got yourself a double blessing!
william price
02/16/07
Allison, I am soo happy for you. Congrats on the EC. God bless.
Edy T Johnson
02/16/07
You are such a delightful writer, Allison! I enjoyed your story. Congratulations on your well-deserved win.
Cheri Hardaway
02/17/07
Allison, This was just delightful! I enjoyed it very much. I too would have gotten rid of the humans at the end, and used those precious last few words in the word count to finish out Sammy's last thoughts. A great lesson imbedded in a fun read. Blessings, Cheri