The Official Writing Challenge
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This was a unique take on the topic! Be careful of dangling modifiers...

At least I think
You did a great job showing rather than telling when the kids were outside. I could picture everything perfectly.
Apparently part of my comment got cut off. What I meant is I think that's what they [dangling modifiers] are called. Oops.
Interesting, how having a blind friend in childhood determined his future career.

I was a bit distracted by the spacing--too many spaces in some paragraphs, not enough in others. And perhaps--more conflict, for great reader interest?

I enjoyed the character of the spunky diner waitress, and would have liked to get to know her better. You did a great job of writing her.