The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
12/17/06
Your story was so touching. And it speaks to the heart of every woman who has ever felt lonely and unloved. Good work.
12/18/06
Your first paragraph is magnificent, and the rest of the piece did not let me down in the least! What a wonderful character study!

You touched on something that has bothered me for years--mothers who complain about spending time with their children. Many times these are SAHMs, who would pooh-pooh career mothers, but they gripe about their unruly children. I don't get it.

The dance at the end was a perfect touch!
12/22/06
Dittos to the comments, above. (I love the poetic feel of your first paragraph words.) You really give your reader a sense of Laura's despair, that feeling of being set aside on the shelf that many have experienced. The ending was delightful.