Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Pastor (11/30/06)
- TITLE: Convicted
By Laurie Glass
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ADD TO MY FAVORITES
And trust me with their struggles and concerns.
Flock asks for counsel, comforting and prayer,
Approach me frequently so they may learn.
I stand uneasy on this pedestal,
And sense the weight, responsibility.
I’m always stressed, my plate is always full,
And yet admit that’s not what bothers me.
At times, feel so convicted when I preach
About the secret that I hold within.
I’m struggling to live the truths I teach
And feel weighed down by my besetting sin.
Convey I fall, that I am just like them,
Can tell they see it as humility.
That isn’t it, for they don’t see me when
The conflict, turbulence erupts from me.
Although I say my family comes first,
I’m in their presence when I break, I snap.
My wife and kids receiving all the worst…
Fall victim to a shove, a kick, a slap.
Afraid that they’ll expose our secret life,
And yet the treatment that they get from me,
My children don’t deserve, nor does my wife.
This isn’t how their lives were meant to be.
I promise not to lose control again
And when it seems that I’ve earned back their trust,
Soul boils, pressure rises up within,
And they’re recipients of temper’s thrust.
Their fearful looks burn deep into my mind,
My guilt seems sometimes more than I can bear.
All know me here, makes treatment hard to find.
To those I love, incredibly unfair.
Community would be in shock, I know…
Our church’s testimony would be marred.
To all, this news would come as such a blow.
I want to do what’s right, it’s just so hard.
Parishioners are easy to deceive,
And would be devastated if they knew.
Afraid that it would shake what they believe.
I need some help, but don’t know what to do.
So many times I’ve almost given in,
Convicted by the Holy Spirit’s voice
That I confess to elders, secret sin,
But still, I’ve not obeyed and made that choice.
God loves me, wants the best for ev’ryone.
Sees all, from Him I know I cannot hide.
It’s time to talk, for something must be done
To heal the pain, the rage, that reigns inside.
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