The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
11/13/06
I really like the flashback sturcture of this, and your protagonist is written very well. However, I'm a bit bothered by the implication that the nurse could just adopt that baby seemingly red tape-less-ly. It takes years, sometimes, and if it just occurred to the nurse at the time of the baby's birth--I'm not sure, but I don't think it happens like that. Aren't there usually long waiting lists? And wouldn't this girl have had someone explain the adoption process to her?

This is more critical than I meant to be, though, because the story itself is lovingly written, and quite engaging.
11/14/06
Perhaps a short footnote explaining the paperwork and red tape; thus making it seem more non-fictional. A beautifully written story, however, and an enjoyable read.
12/01/06
This is very well written. I like your word usage. I too would like to see a little more explanation of how Karin came to be the adoptive mother. But the way you have the story set up does add a special quality to it. Good work!