The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
A very confusing story. Which one was the fire fighter? Who was which person..and who was the young one, or the one searching. Just my opinion, of course, but I never did make out what was happening. 300 should be in brackets...not 300 hundred, and "struck" in the face, not "stuck"...which could be just a typo. We critique ADVANCED a little more harshly I guess...than a lower level. But keep at have the talent.
reads like it was cut out of a book or a longer story. Quite exciting. Would like to ready more and find out who some of these characters are.
Though perhaps light on the true meaning of firefighter, I liked your story! It made perfect sense to me, him looking to 'save' his wife's brother from the evil he has fallen in to. A horrible time. It does seem to be a part of a much bigger event. And you certainly left us wanting more, wanting to know how the Lord was leading and how he would survive the confrontation of evil! Good job!
I would also like to know more about this story. I definitely was captivated by it and you have a real way with words.
"In a flash of determined motion, Jason moved from the shadows in a power that would see him walk through the wall of fire..." Powerful line. Makes me curious as to what he did though - which is exactly what you wanted. Good work.
Whoa! This was quite a story. A lot of emotion involved-but not long enough. I would love to know what happened afterwards!