The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
This was great writing. I loved this line: "But that didnt stop the flow of tears that cut channels through the dust on his face and fell to join the equally brown and troubled waters of the Mississippi River." I felt the boys reaction at the end was a little "pat", but I loved the story.
Liked this story, but the ending didn't satisfy this reader; but if it calmed the boy - guess I'm mistaken. Well done.
My daddy would have loved this line "God dont count none of the days a man spends fishing against him. Theyre like free days in a mans lifespan." This is one I'd read to my sons. Good job.
Outstanding job. Your dialogue is excellent, intriguing and authentic.

I thought the last line was a bit too neat. But the overall message is great.

Great, descriptive story. Well done.
I always love stories told through a child's eyes. They're so fresh and new at trying to figure out what life is all about. Thank you for this engrossing story.