The Official Writing Challenge
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LOL - very good! I have a good guess as to who might be behind this too ... someone with the same keen sense of humour as this writer and who has written about shops and certain aisles and stuff before ... I wonder if I'm right.

The calming melodies of supermarkets, eh? Now that's an out-of-the-box concept. And you've done it justice. Well done.
Funny, for sure. Loved your description: "I toyed with the fact that my pink Mohawk, white, thigh-high boots and leather spike wristlets made hordes of housewives envious of me. Or maybe it was my neck collar." I don't think of the stuff coming through the speakers as "melodies" - more like sandpaper-ish grinding sometimes (which could be enhanced by the fact I have a hearing disorder). But anyway, this was a fun one. :-)

ROFL! What a hoot. Loved this line, "If you ask me, anyone who sends their children to harm a granny with constipation is ruthless." Too funny! Cleverly written, made me laugh, which always scores high with me (but I wasn't a judge this week, in case you're wondering :-))
Hilarious, and sadly true. Good job.
I ALSO wonder if this is who I think it is (that would be quick for me to be able to spot her writing!). I just ROLLED with laughter on this one - and such a good lesson! You truly have a gift for teaching profound truths with humor. Wonderful!
lol This was great. I especially liked the last line. The story made me chuckle throughout. Great job.
You crack me up! One of FW's best humorists. This is fantastic.
If you ever tire of writing, you might try stand-up comedy! LOL! That was great!
Hey, take it a little easy on us die-hard shoppers! Great job, and VERY FUNNY!
What a hoot! This made me laugh out loud, right here in my office. Hopefully no one noticed; if they say anything, I'll just have them read your story, and then they'll understand!
Hehehe. Loved the lines about the granny with the prunes and that last line especially. Remind me not to go shopping with you... :)
LOL. This is very good. Thanks for the laugh.
Sorry to be a killjoy... but I'm one of the 3% that hates to shop; and after reading this story, I'm more convinced than ever that shopping, sale or no sale, is not my cup of tea. From the accolades and kudos, plus those that rolled in the aisles with laughter, I can see the other 97% really enjoyed this scene - but just give me a catalog with a"Free Postage" Special...and I'm content. Thanks for proving my point. Well written.
Too funny. Loved your last line - I hear it often! So glad our Father approves of way out clothing, oh, and shopping. lol yeggy