The Official Writing Challenge
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So glad she learned her lesson! You can bump up the quality of your writing very easily by working on eliminating dialog tags and replacing them with short descriptive sentences. Both mom and daughter were realistically written. Good job.
" was a dream". No, more like a nightmare! - but it made it's point, right? Nicely done.
I think it was a good story. I have to agree with Jan about the dialogue tags- she told me a few weeks back and it really does make a difference in how the story coms across. :)
Nicely done! The discriptiveness lined up with the plot well without stopping the flow. Good point too!