The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
08/10/06
Love the title, and the story-telling was riveting. As one who has just spent 18 months on a grand jury, I can tell you that there are several factual errors here about those proceedings, but that doesn't interfere with the effectiveness of the narrative. Love the ending--good job.
08/10/06
It sounds as though you might be blaming yourself for what happened at the prison. I don't believe you were guilty of any wrongdoing--it was the two who escaped over the fence. I guess we all have our memories of failure that haunt us over the years. God forgets and gives a clean slate when we ask forgiveness. But there is a positive side to our remembering past mistakes: if they haunt our memory we won't make the same mistake twice.
08/10/06
I loved this story!!!!
I have testified at many grand jury proceedings, and court proceedings from federal to county and I am well aware of the feeling one has sitting there. And thank God, even when we can't see evrything, God provides the vision needed to help us. This was excellently written, smooth, concise and kept my interest throughout. Super job.
God Bless.
08/17/06
I wish to clear up the statement that "there are several factual errors". Each State (in the USA) goes by their individual State rules on how they operate Grand Jury Hearings. This particular State uses a Judge, but no attorneys are present, and 30 jurors set in on these proceedings. However, there is one mistake this writer made by not explaining thoroughly that ..."The Grand Jury does not find a person Guilty or Innocent, but only RECOMMENDS an indictment if they feel it is warranted, based on their findings in these Hearings. Thus, this story IS factual, with that one exception of not explaining fully the Grand Jury's duty. Thank you.
08/18/06
Marilyn, I'm hoping I'm reading another chapter for the book I hope you write. I love the title, too :)