Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: TRAVEL (07/08/21)
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TITLE: Our Prayer Walk | Previous Challenge Entry
By Dana Tramba
07/14/21 -
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When you gaze up at the majestic saguaros, they are fascinating. They wait seventy years to grow one arm. We watch as a cactus wren hops around the upper section. They look like they are scanning the horizon for any activity. Then they dart into the dark hole, which is their nest.
It is a metaphor for my life. I am as old as that saguaro and have over seventy years of memories to write about. The cactus wren pauses then looks at its surroundings. I pause to write in my gratitude journal. Then, like the wren looking backward at life. Occasionally I find myself wanting to crawl in a hole to rest and nestle with stories about darker times of my life.
As we continue down the meandering wildflower path, we admire the yellow blooms on the brittlebush. They appear to thrive on neglect but are loved by the bees. We pause under the Palo Verde trees with its canopy of filtered shade. We reach out and touch the smooth, olive green trunks.
Around the corner is a butterfly bush covered with orange and black painted lady butterflies and black and white zebra longwings flittering around the blooms. Potted bonsai and desert roses blooming in containers are placed strategically around the garden. Hummingbirds pause and drink nectar from the coral fountain and then dart off as quickly as they came. Following the hummingbirds, we are surprised by a blanket of orange and yellow poppies.
Following the path, we smell the scent of creosote. We see lavender in the herb garden, which is calming as it gently sways with the breeze. The herb garden is fragrant with dill, sage, and rosemary. Touching the mint causes a lingering, cleansing smell on your fingers.
In the crevice of a boulder, a lizard's head pop up, and it scurries in front of us. He pauses briefly, thinking he will blend into the surroundings and never be noticed. Then he starts flirting and showing how well he can do lizard push-ups.
Traveling at a steady pace down the dirt path was a desert tortoise focused on its destination. Ignoring us. I thought of the story about The Tortoise and the Hare. I wondered if I kept focused and worked little by little, would I finally finish my memoir?
We enjoy the early morning soothing sounds of the desert. There is the call of the Gamble's quail, and soon we see six tiny babies playing follow the leader with the parents. We are serenaded by the soft coo of the white-winged dove. In the distance, we hear the hooting of an owl.
The valley is blanketed with shades of red. In the shadow of the sun, organ cacti are reaching for the sky. At the base are a circle of barrel cactus showing off their purple blooms.
Along the path, we see the dirt whip up, small dust devils. We know it won't be long, and the summer monsoon rain will come from the heavens and calm down those devils.
Like the dry paths, occasionally, I hit a dry period in my writing. Like the desert, it takes a while to emerge from my dry period. When the rain comes, it is exhilarating and refreshing, and the desert blooms. The rain cleanses the earth.
I, too, have seasons of dry periods in my writing. When the muse comes, like monsoon rain, I can plunge ahead. Idea’s flow and there is a period of nonstop writing.
As we conclude our day trip, our journey was like a prayer walk. God's world is all around us, and He meets us in nature and touches us with a gentle breeze. His gift to us. Whether it is the ocean, mountain, flat plains, desert, or birds and butterflies in your back yard.
A prayer walk is a special way to feel the presence of God. He sees us enjoying His beautiful creation and serenades us with the sounds of nature. Holding hands and walking with the one you love is a perfect way to travel.
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It's just a little change but will help the reader feel the emotions of the MC. Also be careful about the universal you. Instead of refresh your soul, say refresh my soul. You have some beautiful descriptions and make some great points. You've an excellent start on your memoirs and, with some minor tweaking, you'll have a lovely book.
Thank you for your lovely entry.
You wrote: "Traveling at a steady pace down the dirt path was a desert tortoise focused on its destination. Ignoring us."
I think that would have better presented as one complete sentence or maybe using a ; in between destination and ignoring.