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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: DIARY (05/16/19)
It’s been 32 years, since Jesus Christ’s birth,
I’ve now had a taste of life here on Earth.

While experiencing all the five senses,
teaching and preaching to all who would listen.

Showing compassion to all who receive Him,
some of them do and others will leave them.

The sick have been healed, the lame can now walk;
Even the blind, deaf and mute - can see, hear and talk!

All of creation is subject to His name,
for the devil, himself, is even put to shame!

Although, there is one, who will betray Him
he thinks that his own earnings can save him.

Jesus, will soon be used to redeem many;
His blood being shed from the cross named Calvary.

Many will think that His death will be finished at the Cross,
but when they die without believing Him, their souls will be lost.

Sadly, many people are still living sinful today,
because they don’t believe Jesus is the only Way!

I am still patiently waiting for you and many others,
so, you may know He is the One closer than a brother.

My Son, is patiently waiting for My command;
Will you be joining us, when We’re joined together at last?


John 3:16
"For God so loved the world, that He gave
His only begotten Son, that whoever believes
in Him should not perish but have everlasting
life."
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This article has been read 272 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Barbara Culler 
05/24/19
You speak the truth here! On 2nd reading, I did pick up that the MC is God, but I did not catch that the first time and was confused to who was speaking. I'm not understanding where the topic of diary is for your entry. With some clarification, I think this piece would be beautiful. Keep on writing!
Joanney Uthe 
05/27/19
This is a beautiful poem with a very important invitation at the end.

There were a few misplaced commas that were distracting (after "Jesus" in one stanza, and "My Son" in another.) These should have commas only if addressing Jesus, not when He is the subject of the sentence.

Like someone else said, it was hard to recognize that this was meant as a diary entry of God, and therefore the relevance to the topic was not immediately obvious.
Catherine Drabble 
05/27/19
The Gospel as a poem...and it reads as it is from the heart...lovely. It’s good to be reminded what He has done for us and you clearly spell it out here. I’m assuming this is an entry in a diary but I think if you had clearly identified this then it would fit the topic better. You have a great message...keep writing!
Lollie Hofer 
05/27/19
Jesus on earth from God's perspective. Great idea. Enjoyed the poem...you did a great job conveying God's heart for His son. At times your cadence (rhythm) was choppy but writing experience will help with that so keep writing. Also, it was perhaps a little weak on the topic.