The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
05/24/19
You speak the truth here! On 2nd reading, I did pick up that the MC is God, but I did not catch that the first time and was confused to who was speaking. I'm not understanding where the topic of diary is for your entry. With some clarification, I think this piece would be beautiful. Keep on writing!
05/27/19
This is a beautiful poem with a very important invitation at the end.

There were a few misplaced commas that were distracting (after "Jesus" in one stanza, and "My Son" in another.) These should have commas only if addressing Jesus, not when He is the subject of the sentence.

Like someone else said, it was hard to recognize that this was meant as a diary entry of God, and therefore the relevance to the topic was not immediately obvious.
The Gospel as a poem...and it reads as it is from the heart...lovely. It’s good to be reminded what He has done for us and you clearly spell it out here. I’m assuming this is an entry in a diary but I think if you had clearly identified this then it would fit the topic better. You have a great message...keep writing!
05/27/19
Jesus on earth from God's perspective. Great idea. Enjoyed the poem...you did a great job conveying God's heart for His son. At times your cadence (rhythm) was choppy but writing experience will help with that so keep writing. Also, it was perhaps a little weak on the topic.