Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Right and Left (07/31/14)
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TITLE: Staying safe | Previous Challenge Entry
By Ken Grant
08/02/14 -
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“Remember, right and left, Tammy,” She said to herself.
Tammy looked to the right and then to the left and with strength she didn’t know that she had she began to cross the street. She half-walked and half-ran until she was across and racing toward the playground. The world lay before her eyes. Everything was possible now. She was free. She played and played without a thought in the world. She didn’t think about her mother. She thought only of pure fun. Finally she sat down under a tree completely exhausted and incredibly happy.
“That was fun,“ Tammy crowed.
As Tammy sat up and looked around she sensed something was not right. She had a strange feeling in her stomach and that was never a good thing. She stood up, wiped the grass off of her shorts and shirt and started to walk back home. She wanted to be home so very badly. Fear welled up inside her as she saw a man approaching her from her left.
“Come here little girl, “ The man called as he began to approach more quickly.
“No!” Tammy screamed as she took off running.
The man immediately began to run toward her. She began to run with everything in her body. She was approaching the street. She knew to look right and left before crossing, but she had no time. She thought about slowing down, but as she did the man swiped at her and almost got hold of her arm. Without looking she raced into the street with the man close behind. Screeching tires and a car horn exploded into the air before there was a thump behind her and the sound of the man yelling in pain.
“Hey you, stop!”
Tammy didn’t stop. She ran and ran until she got home. She ran inside the house and as she did she caught her mother’s eye.
“What have you been doing, Tammy?”
“I have been being safe. The right and the left it keeps me safe.”
“Okay,” Her mother said before going back to what she had been doing.
Tammy went into her room, sat down on the carpet, and wept softly. She had been so afraid. The right and the left did keep you safe, but not always. Sometimes you had to break the rules to be safe; lesson learned.
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I did wonder why the man said "Hey you, stop", if he was in pain. Did he get hit by the car? If he was in a lot of pain, would he have said something different?
This could be a good start to a longer story to fill in all the blanks. Blessings, LaVonne
I was a little confused about the roll of the man in the story.
It seemed to me that you left him hanging.
Was he a good guy, bad guy?
Just a thought. Don't leave the readers scratching their heads.
Hope it helps.
God bless.
I was a little confused about the roll of the man in the story.
It seemed to me that you left him hanging.
Was he a good guy, bad guy?
Just a thought. Don't leave the readers scratching their heads.
Hope it helps.
God bless.