The Official Writing Challenge
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This is an interesting take on the topic. The broad use of us was quite effective in showing how we are all the same, no matter the era, setting, history. We are connected through sin, but even more so, through our need for a Savior.

It read a tad slow to me at first. Maybe sprinkling some dialog might have helped. Ex. "Come on, baby, you know you want this apple." Dialog can really help move the message along and allow the reader to relate.

You did a nice job of making the repetition work for you. It felt almost poetic. Your message is clear and one we all need to be reminded of from time to time. Great job. Keep writing.
02/28/14
It was poetically beautiful! I really enjoyed this so much. Thank you.

God bless~
Very beautiful! I like how your story just flowed from the desperation in the Garden to the love Jesus demonstrated on the cross.
02/28/14
I loved the fact this was in no way heavy hande,d but it wasn't fluff either. It was interesting and approachable.

Just a personal note. I question this line -- "For some reason we did not wish to face Him at all" because it seems pretty clear why they/we wanted to hide from God whereas using the phrase "for some reason" makes it sound ambiguous.

Sincerely, I enjoyed this immensely. It was thoughtful without being preachy--something this simpleton can understand ;)
03/01/14
Very true and very well written.
03/06/14
Congratulations!

God bless~