The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
04/26/07
I really enjoyed this story! I can relate to it, as our older daughter will be leaving for college this coming fall.

Wonderfully vivid descriptions--I could feel with the wife and also clearly see her husband, especially his "long rugged fingers" and the bifocals on the end of his nose!

In paragraph 4, the sentence that begins with "The last 25 years..." is not a question and should end with a period.

I loved the way the husband tucked that dandelion behind his wife's ear and suggested a walk!
04/28/07
Lovely story and a nice approach. So often we expect people to guess our feelings. One tip - don't forget to use contractions in your dialogue to make it read more naturally. For eg, You are welcome is normally spoken as you're welcome.
Very good story. Romantic and very well told. Good job.
A very common problem. If only more couples had such open lines of communication!