The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/05/06
WOW - definitely NOT how I expected this one to end! You did a good job with the dialogue - and gave us quite a message to boot! Thanks for writing!
Yes! I agree with Joanne - a most unexpected ending. Good pacing.
08/09/06
A couple of suggestions first-when you use ellipsis points, they come in groups of three. ( ...) You might also want to pick up a book on punctuation as a few times you left out " at the beg. of someone talking and you didn't use a comma at the end of dialogue before saying he said. Otherwise,:) this is a very good story - written well and with a good twist at the end!!I hope my suggestions help because I am sure you will want to submit your stories and the cleaner they are the better!