The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Very nice show not tell of emotions. The ONLY thing I might have added is some dialogue about the impending surgery. I don't think it would have given too much away and might have pointed to the importance of Elizabeth's mission. Other than that, excellent and powerful writing! Great job!
Beautiful story. I like how you didn't tell us exactly what she was traveling for until the end. Well done!
Keep in mind that I said might have added in. But we do only have 750 words. Clearly, this entry works very well as it is. It was your objective to keep this a building mystery and you did an excellent job! And what a glorious ending!
Such a beautifully written story of one of life's longest walks. It touched my heart, and yes, after a few kleenex's later I'm writing to tell you I enjoyed your entry. Very well done.
You captured my attention and held it firm. (Had to stop and grab a tissue.) The different elements you brought into the story were superb. The ticking clock - loved it. This one has winner written all over it.
I adore this and knowing it's a true story adds to the feeling I have for it. Good work.
Very moving--thank you for telling us that it was a true story. I wasn't clear on why the mom didn't know the way to the hospital and why they needed a map--a minor detail. The episode on the plane was a great way to set the scene.
Compelling "walk" - I also appreciated knowing this was a true story. Wonderfully done!
Very well told. Good writing. Great job.
Oh Brenda ... this is beautiful! Thank you for sharing such a vividly portrayed testimony of a daughter's devotion and a father's humble response. Well done, my friend, well done! To God be the glory ... great things He has done! Amen!