The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
06/15/06
"And to top off what nature has to offer... I've got an over abundance of God's love, God's mercy, God's security, God's blessings, God's forgiveness, God's word, God's promises...Oh, how rich and wealthy I am!

What more could a child of God need, anyway?"

What more could we need, indeed? We just need to open our eyes to it.

Engaging writing... keep it up!
06/16/06
Pretty good stuff. Lose the exclamation marks, unless you really scream that much. I liked the framework of this story. Nice job.
06/21/06
How very true, and I'm glad that you did admit to having struggled with being "on the short end". That makes the piece much more realistic. "nurished" caught my eye but that is simply a slip of the finger, so no harm. Good job.
06/21/06
I can relate -- also having some "poor" relatives! Excellent point. Great perspective. I like your voice. Some of your details (specifically the parentheticals) detracted just a bit; almost weighing down the flow and distracting from the more important elements. Overall, a great piece. Thank you for writing it. :)