The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Very topical, be careful writing current event dialog without the actual quotes...
You picked a good story for hope.
When you write speech, rather than write, Tod moaned, Brent replied etc. have the men doing things, e.g. Brent raised his arms a few inches above his neck. "speech". That way you know who is talking but it makes the story more alive.
I echo dub and Sally's comments. There were a few typo's and punctuation mistakes.

However, I did enjoy reading your piece!