The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Good message. If this were in a magazine, I think many readers would be put off by the first paragraph, which is quite difficult to read. THat would be a shame, because the rest is good.
Great Article! This actually defines a lot of what I have personally been struggling with myself.
I might would look for a more user friendly definition, however I am a huge fan of defining words, as it takes us into deeper levels.
I think you could do without the first paragraph, as your second paragrph is really what your essay is about, and using a dictionary definition may be a slightly over-used device. Your second paragraph is far more creative and compelling, and more liekly to "hook" your readers.

Thanks for this extremely well-thought-out devotional.