The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1114 times
Member Comments
I had to read it twice to really understand what you were portraying, but I love your parallel to the simplicity of the gospel and the faith of a child. Good job!
The characters you chose show you have an astute observation of humanity, I loved the woman: 'loaded personality could not fit through the door frame'. LOL Good thumbnail sketches of your characters. A very visual piece, you gave me a clear sense of place. The enthusiasm of the children and Jose's response to them was delightful! Liked that this worked on two levels and the choice of Jose's name. Well done. yeggy
Nice job. The woman with the "loaded personality" who couldn't get through the door was a powerful message to those who are too preoccupied with self, as were some of the others. "Unless you turn and become like children you will never enter the kingdom of God" You said so much in your story.
Wonderful bit of allegory, very clever! Thanks so much!
Very creative take on a well-known parable. Happy Birthday, Rachael! You're a gifted writer!
Fantastic parable. I love it.
Great people picture and a marvellous reminder that to get into the kingdom, you have to leave all the "stuff" behind and come in simple faith. Good job.
Liked the allegory...and I'm thinkin' we all might be a bit surprised by who gets in and who doesn't...
Your portrayal of the adult personalities is very accurate. Nicely written story.
Nicely done! The "ding dongs" were sort of a comic relief...I found myself chuckling at the prospect of each new person arriving at the door. Love the connotation of childlikeness being the standard!!! Enjoyed this one very much. :-)